
President Trump is hitting Brazilian imports particularly hard, which is "bad news for meat-based Americans," Stephen Colbert said.
SOURCE: The New York Times Subscription at 02:22AM[SHARE]Meyers said that if he saw Trump on his roof, he'd assume the president "was pulling a reverse Santa Claus. " you know, going house to house taking toys away from kids."
SOURCE: The New York Times Subscription at 02:24AM[SHARE]Cutting ties with Jeffrey Epstein because he hired away your spa staff is like taking Charles Manson off your guest list "because he wouldn't use a coaster," Meyers said.
SOURCE: The New York Times Subscription at 02:28AM[SHARE]Despite the Trump administration's support for proselytizing at the office, Stephen Colbert doesn't think it's a good idea.
SOURCE: The New York Times Subscription at 02:37AM[SHARE]The president said he "never had the privilege" of visiting Jeffrey Epstein's island. Fallon's take: "Trump's staff was like, 'A simple no would've been fine.' "
SOURCE: The New York Times Subscription at 03:25AM[SHARE]Josh Johnson said that "not since Tupac Shakur has a dead man dropped so many bangers."
SOURCE: The New York Times Subscription at 02:24AM[SHARE]Stephen Colbert feigned surprise at reports that the president had already been told he was in the Epstein files: "But he said he hardly knew the guy!"
SOURCE: The New York Times Subscription at 02:37AM[SHARE]The president's usual tactic when cornered is to "throw red meat to the carnivorous base " and their favorite cut is filet of Obama," Stephen Colbert said.
SOURCE: The New York Times Subscription at 02:07AM[SHARE]Jordan Klepper and other hosts poked holes in the president's claim that his uncle had been the future terrorist's professor at M.I.T.
SOURCE: The New York Times Subscription at 02:47AM[SHARE]People torched the hats in videos, apparently upset about the Jeffrey Epstein case. "People in China were like, 'Oh, come on, we worked so hard making them,'" Fallon said.
SOURCE: The New York Times Subscription at 02:42AM[SHARE]President Trump's most conspiracy-minded supporters can't believe he wants them to forget about the Jeffrey Epstein conspiracy theories.
SOURCE: The New York Times Subscription at 03:06AM[SHARE]"The Daily Show" host called the threat from an Iranian official "an attack on all of America, because now we all have to picture him with his bare belly glistening in the sun."
SOURCE: The New York Times Subscription at 01:43AM[SHARE]"Do you know how racist and antisemitic you have to be for Elon Musk to step in?" Anthony Anderson, sitting in for Jimmy Kimmel, asked rhetorically.
SOURCE: The New York Times Subscription at 01:04AM[SHARE]An endorsement from Benjamin Netanyahu for the Nobel Peace Prize is like "a Husband of the Year nomination from O.J. Simpson," the "Daily Show" host said.
SOURCE: The New York Times Subscription at 02:42AM[SHARE]The "Daily Show" host said the drama around President Trump's big policy bill was about as authentic as a World Wrestling Entertainment match.
SOURCE: The New York Times Subscription at 03:36AM[SHARE]The "Tonight Show" host said it was crazy that the president had "launched an attack on Iran, his own parade and a cellphone in the same week."
SOURCE: The New York Times Subscription at 02:17AM[SHARE]The president left the Group of 7 summit in Canada a day ahead of schedule, and Tuesday's "Daily Show" host thinks he knows why.
SOURCE: The New York Times Subscription at 02:51AM[SHARE]It was "basically a $50 million version of when a 5-year-old shows you every car in his Hot Wheels collection," Jimmy Kimmel said on Monday.
SOURCE: The New York Times Subscription at 03:21AM[SHARE]Jimmy Kimmel said that Trump "going to see 'Les Misérables' right now is like Kanye going to 'Fiddler on the Roof.'"
SOURCE: The New York Times Subscription at 02:15AM[SHARE]Hosts ripped into his comment during a speech to troops about former President Joe Biden never having been "the sharpest bulb."
SOURCE: The New York Times Subscription at 03:29AM[SHARE]It's the only explanation the "Late Show" host can think of for the tech mogul's apparent disenchantment with the Trump administration.
SOURCE: The New York Times Subscription at 03:25AM[SHARE]"Oh, no, not my two favorite people fighting!" said the "Daily Show" host Michael Kosta. "Don't make me choose who I love more."
SOURCE: The New York Times Subscription at 02:46AM[SHARE]"If Trump had a dollar for every lie he's told, he would say he had a billion dollars," said Stephen Colbert.
SOURCE: The New York Times Subscription at 08:48AM[SHARE]Alison Bechdel's award-winning graphic memoir Fun Home is now an award-winning musical, and it's coming to Broadway next month. Alison illustrated her experience after seeing the production …
SOURCE: www.afterellen.com at 11:19AM[SHARE]

